~Live for the loved~

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

2 months...........i dunno wats gonna happen in the future........planned....but will it go as planned....leave it to the Only One to decide.....the only question...will i still be with u.....lets just pray n hope we stand strong....bout the past...i hate it....i hate ur past....and i hate mine....the reason why i always change my blog is dis.....i dun want to read about the past....i dun want the past to be written....the nice one maybe yes....the bad ones.....fuck em off....i open ur blog...the fen 08....just to test my fear...heart pain....hahaha...i know my heart will bleed to see ur past....but u know me...im daring enough to open and look at ur pic with ur wonderful ex...sori..."wonderful"....all this things i dared to do is only for me to face reality...not to make u sad or smth....but its for me to face it and overcome it....it will hurt...but dis will teach me to be strong as time pass by....it hurts when i got to know bout ur past....really....i did said i dun mind ur past....i dun....but...it haunts me for some reason...i now ur exs....most of them....from dat AMRI....until...DAT KHAIL....UNTIL DAT SAUFI....HAIKAL...HAZLI...sori if i got it wrong..but those are those which i think u said to me b4 or i know it myself...dis post is kinda daring...so...be strong ok....all these ex are just some cruel shits in the pasts which will haunt the present person...in this case...me...i dun wanna know bout them....but...sadly for us...we started off as frens...i know ur darkside...u know mine..it really haunts me like hell....in fact...i wanna kill those who have hurt u.....but..its the past...i have to face it....good or bad...its reality....the mission is simple...to stay strong and not let anyone interfere....i know i told u a girl contacted me after a long silence...rest assured...nothing gonna happen...dis is honesty....truth hurts....but if u overcome it...it cures with a strong comeback...sometimes when my mind is insane...i kept thinking....y did i take u when i know of ur past...infact...i hate the zylaa last time..even though u are nice to me...i hate u for ur attitude.....i hate u of ur group of frens...but the reason is...I love u of ur attitude towards me...the love is too strong for me to hate u....i love the way u care for me.....if i have the power to erase...i would erase anything before 1st Jan 09.....days before dis date is cruel...it makes me wanna hate u....but dun worry...love is much more stronger than hate...

Even i hate my past....wat i did to my ex...the way i talk to them...the way i treated them....it hurts to see me hurt other people...people are nice to me...but i fucked them off...sori for me being daring in this case...but...people like one of dis girl...izzi...a very soft type of person...caring..got me...a drunken asshole who dun give a shit bout her....and then tell her to fuck off...too bad...she was not dat strong as my bby dumb2...so...be it....this is one minor example of my past...
Rude...evil....bastard...fucked up kind of guy.....i might treat u that way last time rite??rite dumb2?? im sori....but...gd thing for u...u are strong...i respect u for that......u might be thinking...why the hell im talking bout the past...like i said..dis is a daring post...we have to be strong to face it..fight or flight...and also...u always think dat im gonna have someone else in my life....the truth is...yes...i do want another one in my life...but it is not a someone...it is a something...but...have to get my SPF first....u know wat thing is it rite..??hehe...those carbon fibre thingy...lol....
Main thing is....we are labled as 2 months....in fact..we have been understanding and learning to care for each other for more than 2 months....rite...is it 3?..no...4?....hmm...5?...6?....around there lar...think so...but i seriously wanna erase anything before Jan 09....it cuts too deep to heal in a short period of time..for me...might take like more than 10 years......im trying my best here to forget it....if it hurts me 10 years from now......and if our plans worked out 9 years from now....wat will happen on dat day 9 years down the road...so...better face it now before i struggle in the future....the only girl i want in my life is you..no one else...its u who helped me in those days...its u who understands me in those days...its u who cared bout me in those days...wat more can i ask for.....u got everything dat i ever wanted...the dream girl...maybe there is a little negative...but dis is human life rite...everyone is not perfect at all..

im sorry for not getting u anything or making a mark on the 2nd month.....cause for me...i believe...it is the heart dat counts..afterall...2 months is just another number added to the days we spent together....as an officially together kind of thing...ily...u know it rite?these three letters/words dun mean a thing if i said it for the sake of saying....its like me scaling though my guitar...have to have the feel den its so called meaningful...get it??lol.....ily bby....

turn out to be kinda big.....

spider blogged at 8:42 AM

Strumming away my misery...
Scaling through bitterness in life...