Gd thing.....attachment nk abis...bad thing.....no work no money.....gd thing......i am free of school stress...bad thing...im gonna be bored..........aiyo.....mati loh gini.....wa tarak duit apa wa mau buat.....lu olang bilan sama wa......

Seriously dudes....i got to find a new PT job.....if not i die.....no money no honey sia like dis.......appy cathay lagi ar.....GV ker.....hmmm.....cialat......BTT on 26 mar....fuck...lazy sia wanna go bbdc....ppl are like crazy to go...but im like so lazy to go...im taking my own sweet time to get the licence....who cares....its not like im gonna buy a car....hmmm...but i did book 4 practice lesson b4 my BTE.....haha/...siow rite...just to ensure i will pass.....so far i learned something in the bbdc theory lesson...which is to daydream in class.....wahahaha...i nvr read the book at all sia.....nvm..ill make sure ill get my licence...my way....no licence nvr die wat...big fuck meh got licence....so called abg2 lar tuh....abg2 lobang....now im in need of money....got no more money.....haiz.....wat am i gonna do...............some one help me find job...i seriously got no time to find...unless after attachment.....

To my little cute dumb2.......Ily....dats all...hahahaha....short n sweet....just like u.....

To MR...gd luck on 28..insyaallah aku tron lau tk der halangan...wat the time ar??

btw......dumb2...help me to link antoo and syarmila can??mls ar..u kat keje kan tk der keje.....tolong can??mls ar nk link2..pkai laptop irritating......

PEACE ALL......

Strumming away my misery...
Scaling through bitterness in life...

22nd feb...started off with a great smile when i woke up...gig day mah....but fucked up by my dad.....dun wish to talk bout it....both of u guys here know bout dat stupid ass thing.......

went to gig.....performed............sucks........IC did not do well.........really....sucks.....missed a lot......i dun think the crowd liked it......but....nvm....we hate club 6 equipments anyway.........met someone who said she did not want to come......she really make my day......i told u....my prediction is mostly correct...rite??hehhehee......i knw u cant bear to leave me.....so......i got u now......i must take gd care of u.....make sure u enjoy ur life......one thing...just go tell dat sucker off cause he dun have u anymore....and just hope he knows wat he is doin.......but....i wont do anything like wat he did to u......he dun deserve to be called a guy.....or even...human....all i know is to take care of u and the ppl around me.......ily

to maan.....sabar ehk bro...mcm maner ko tenang kan aku...gitu jugak kau kene buat kat diri kau......aku tau kau penyabar...ko boleh make it maan...dugaan ko lagi rabak dari aku.......tapi ttp ko maseh hidup....kau tabah n redah pada apa yg ko dilanda.....aku salute orng mcm ko maan....mungkin ko tk dpt bersama seseorang tu psl orng tu tk cukop layak untuk dapat kau....tapi lau da jodoh tk ke mana....sayang memang sayang.....tapi lau Yang Berkuasa tk izinkan..ape kan daya....kita leh sabar jer....ape2 pn....jgn nk isap rkk or minum.....sikit ari tu da cukop....dats the last of me wathing u smoke on the water......if in need....call....ill do my best to help...dari segi wang memang aku tk der...dari segi naikkan semangat....insyaallah aku boleh......

back to u dumb2......i really luv u from the bottom of my heart.....i dun care bout ur past.....and i dun care bout my past....i hope we can forget our bitterness of our past together.....we are a new person now.....lets build up our future n not crying bout our past k.....ill help u in life.....ill also help myself....watever happens....ill be with u......i mean my words.....


the coolest part....for the both of u pictures in my life.....biler mau bowl???ke pool ker....antoo da sakit ati kalah ngan gua.....hahaa...we enjoy together arite...together with su...jai..n the rest of the geng.....u two are the light in my life...remember i used to live in darkness??hahahhaha....lamer peh cerita...really....i love all these pics in my life....

Zylaa(of course lar,my no.1 bby...)
Maan Rosewood
Jai Lanun
Nol
Su(for lecturing n making me see wat dumb2 feels)
The rest of IC band(u guys are the music)
Those frens who are not disebut....u guys know who u are....if u heard my problems....den...i luv u guys too...

Last of all...the most impt...my fam...wat ever they have done...i appreciate it....they dun nid to know how i feel....just know dat i love them....

one most impt person of all whom i think he can read as i am typing dis....Kepada Aruah Pak Itam.....dengan penuh ikhlas hati mimin berterima kasih lagi sekali atas dorongan kepada mimin selama hayat pak itam...mimin tak sempat mintak maaf atas kesalahan mimin...mimin,wandi dan semua saudara marah dan anak buah pak itam sentiasa ingat perjuangan pak itam untuk kesenangan kita semua....Semoga Allah mencucuri rohnya dan letaknya didalam golongan orang yang beriman.....Al Fateha.....

Strumming away my misery...
Scaling through bitterness in life...

So now i know....since he meant so much to u...lets keep it short n simple...tell me after u read dis post ok....if u have made up ur mind to go on with ur past.....den...i wish u all the best....thnx 4 keeping me company dis few months...just note one thing...once u have gone back.....dun remember anything....4get me...just note dat i didnt exist in dis world.....its normal to me someone leaving me after they told me the 3 letter word..dun think of finding me if he break ur heart again....i wont be there in ur life....i thought u were the one....but....im wrong again...dis tears dat fall doesnt mean a thing now....i told u..it is difficult to make my tears fall.....u scratched my heart dat day...now...u really broke it again...so....maybe dis is it....maybe dis is the end....end of dis blog.....im deleting it away soon....i knew u would change if u meet him again....guess im right....im right to be angry when u meet him....but u just wouldnt care.....u even lie to me by saying u want only me.....i felt ive been played around....U want him more....stop lying to urself.....a bass guitar couldnt fight with a bike....so....made ur decision??im fully prepared to live my life just the way i am...alone...without any gals by my side...and dun u worry about how im feeling....it doesnt matter if i cry or laugh...just know dat all those i said were real and i never even thought once of playing with ur heart...im a man of my words....I got my pride...I am able to stand up for myself and those i care for....but if they leave...its up to them....i could only say farewell...u choose him as u know him longer....

Maan....ko paham aku kan....ko pon pernah nampak aku kene tinggal kan...ko tau lar ape nk buat....ko dulu bagi aku semangat untuk terus berjuang...mungkin nie da takdir aku...aku pn tk tau ape aku buat salah kat dunia nie...Rockers pon boleh menitiskan air mata...tapi bro...ape2...pahit ke manis aku telan.....ko n jai yg paham aku.....ape yg aku harapkan tk selalu aku dpt....

selamz pada insan2 yg aku btol2 sayang....

Strumming away my misery...
Scaling through bitterness in life...

IM ANGRY LIKE FUCK......not bcoz of her...BCOZ OF ME.....Y THE FUCK I HAVE DIS FEELING..called JEALOUSY.....im trying my very best to fight it....im not losing....i will win soon....dis stupid feeling causes me to create trouble between people.....is there such thing called jealousy management programme??fuck it man...really...fuck....sometimes i feel like ending everything.....but i dun want it to end...ending bcoz im jealous??wth....am i nuts or wat if i did dat....pls god give me the power go stop dis thing....i know i have made uncountable sins...but pls...i dun want anything to end now except for dis jealousy...at least lower it....im sick and tired of the feeling....my heart is as hard as iron....no wonder im in iron child...nonsense....i just want my happiness back....from the day im able to think..until now...all i ever did was to solve problems........mostly of others....but not mine....haiz.....i dunno if i can say dis....but...if i die....is it better or worse....better cause i got nothing to take care of...worse cause i havent fully change myself for the better...aiyo2....manyak pening leh.....bui soong...bui tahan...peace

Strumming away my misery...
Scaling through bitterness in life...

went out with dumb2 today....she got me a white billabong wallet which is $40+....crazy ar spending ur money on me like dat...ksiow....but thnk u 4 dat...sori i only got u like fruit tarts...lol....i got no time to go even lot one....sori yer....went to pool....bosan sak ngan jai n wandi...jln mcm pengantin.....sot jer gua....da tunggu lamer....hhaha....but end up with wandi breaking up.....stupid gal....luckily im ok with dumb2....rite?its not totally her fault...maybe...im too concern.....i know im also at fault....but since u made a promise not to do anything...i will hold on to dat...and...i really respect ur ex telling u to ask me if u can follow him....once a while its ok lar for me...but if often dat one i dunno.....i dun mind if he contact u....i know my face will change...but...it is just a reaction i cant control...cause..i dun want to lose u....but..im ok now...BUT...the only thing im still not steady with is when someone fetch u frm somewhere bringing u here n there....the feeling is like painful i must say....and also the worry is there..but i wont stop u if u really need to....im sori to say but u should understand my side...i dunno wat is the mindset of those mat motor....but i dun feel right when u hop on a guy's bike and go travelling...maybe with u ex 4 me its ok...cause i knw he's just a fren rite.....dat one i can give way...but pls tell him not to main giler on the road when u are on his bike k?jgn selit2 giler2 can??i still dun agree if other guys bike....only wif his bike for me its ok..

as for u going to clubs...just make sure u know ur limits....i trust u....so dun break it....hmm...as for me....im starting to listen to metalcore/hardcore/deathcore again....i like only some lar...not all....but still...i hate their vocals...hahahhaa...they suck man.....im also starting to hear black metal again....actually da lamer ar....hahaa....the tension could be at ease a little listening to dis kinda songs....hahaha...i miss moshing with jai...i remember kicking someone's dick in a moshpit at Baybeats...lol....a chinese guy,....down in a moshpit....lying on the floor...hahahaha....beat up a bangla too....dunno wat the hell he is doing there....then mosh together with a hardcore chinese maniac......both of us are like hitting each other real hard...but he came to me and peace...haha..mosh mah...relek lar....den there was a time i was in the middle of the ring of the moshpit.....alone....really in the middle...and the circle close up on me...managed to spin kick some of the people....wakakaka...but in the end...i fell on the floor...jai the most bastard of all...."min, mosh ar"...me:"sembarrang".....jai:'amik kau'....he pushed me in the moshpit and i have to fight my way out....coz dat time the moshpit was quite big.....hahaa....miss those times....bodysurfing....1st time bodysurf i was like wat the hell....bring me down assholes....who planned it....JAI....hahaha..busted sia dat guy.....mosh at malex vid shoot oso best....Rosewood asked..who start the moshed....ppl say...Bayul....den Bayul say....no lar him lar....i smiled...hahahaha...kater metal mah...gesek sikit ar...hahaha...im going to hardcore/deathcore gigs....

and also to u...u dun worry bout me k...im quite used to moshing...i know its more dangerous than clubbing....but its my way of letting off steam...haha...dun think its like a revenge to hit u back...i just miss those times....but i dun mosh often...kejap jer...penat oi....high sak rasa...tk ya gi minum..hhaaha....i'll take care of myself....i wont get hurt badly lar k...and most impt i wont hurt u...if i have....im really sorry.....maybe im too stressed up n couldnt think straight...as for my gig...i wont force u to come....but u would really2 bring me the confidence n willingness to perform if u come.....actually just now...fizah n jai was tired...dats y they are like attitude...but u see jai....normal rite...its only your thoughts lar...jai oso joke around with u rite....fizah is too tired...she didnt even talk much....my frens are not like dat....i know them....even maan knows bout it cause confirm dia ngah baca nie.....he wont look down on u lar....its only a mistake that humans make.....no other people knows bout dis case....so u relek aite....ill back u up even anyone try to create shit wif u....and one more thing i realise....PANJANG PER POST...ily...peace...

and oso to maan...aku tk tau lar blog kau tu ape angin....pening jugak brain aku....lol...n...ada ape hal...sori aku tk call kau...confirm ko ngah tido.....aku pon da layu...tapi upload gambar satu2.....facebook rosak cm siak...hahaha....ko tc bro....jumpe time gig aite....

Strumming away my misery...
Scaling through bitterness in life...

Dumb2 only..........



Ive told u....if problems come...they come straight at one go....haiz....y do u really have to go n follow him?i really2 felt the pain sia....i thought after im being sacarstic u wont follow him....but in the end...u did...dun say i lookdown on myself...cause dis is the fact...the fact that i dun own a bike nor a car...or even licence...i know u miss those times riding rite??wat?by saying u talk to ur racing frens bout me can relax me down??the fact is u already went wif him...i dun care wat u talk about...u know i dun like if u hop on a guys bike...fair enough i dont own one..but do u really have to go dat far to actually scratch my heart??im actually not angry wif u...but im dissapointed with ur actions...imagine i saw u on the road on his bike or any other person bike...ill tell my self im a letdown to you...i cant give u the easier way to travel...futhermore...dat person is ur ex...i know i dun have a say if he want to meet u or wat..im just so called..new....wat if ur ex gal saw him??wat does she have to say??if she say ok...shes fine wif it...den i dunno wat to say bout myself...maybe im just so jealous..or im just a big time loser...i promise not to leave u...but the way u are doing dis is like u are the one who is gonna leave me....if u really do...den...im totally speechless like the mute...bcoz of dis thing...u dunno wat did i do and wat happen today...no nid to ask me..k?all i want to give u is happiness but u obstruct me dis way...making the both of us unhappy...y?u told me b4..if u did something wrong..tell u rite??should i tell u now??or is it obviously obvious??and im the one who called su...and actually her sister or brother did not saw u...it is just a make up story created by me..really dissappointed..

Last time fai msg me and u were like angry or so called jealous...but then i didnt contact her...i even never say hi to zyzii when at ECP....Zyzii got nothing to do wif me but not to hurt u...i didnt even say hi..even though u wont noe if i met her or wat..but then..on your side...u r able to even go n meet ur EX...ride on his bike summore....and he fetch u frm work........dat time u were sick and im in my frens van..wanting to pick u up at ur workplace...u dun let me..meaning wat...u are ashamed dat some company's van is picking u up..actually u should be..cause its not even my van...and its a van..not a bike...since u already met him today...wat about tmr...nxt week...or even if i shifted house to Teban??haiz...i will fight for u if i have to....if they want to let me have a taste of the helmet...ill show them what is called a 6 string bass guitar....i wont break my promise...i wont leave u...but will u??i hope not...this is really a test to me....i dunno if u still want to continue to meet dat so called fren of urs....and continue scratching my heart until its gone..or are u going to heal it 4 me??get my point?


now..this thing make me hate mat rempits...i dun care how good u guys are....if u guys are those rempits in a group who thinks u can take anything or anyone just whacking ur throttle....den...be prepared to ans those questions when u meet with an accident...scumbags...i rather flip in a car n not get serious injury rather than flip on a bike and get my head off.....u scumbags think its cool rite...i love my life...i treasure my life and those in my life....peace all

Strumming away my misery...
Scaling through bitterness in life...

DIS FKIN WORD WILL ALWAYS APPEAR...."STRESS"...Firstly....no money.....den need to go out...wat u say....stress....nxt...need to go work everyday...wat u say....stress.....nxt....after ITE want to go poly or ns.....dunno which one...wat u say...stress....gig coming up...havent learnt the songs...wat u say...stress.....cannot get the songs rite...wat u say...stress...quarrel with family...wat u say...stress.....com spoiled...lagging...wat u say...stress......bass guitar not ok...wat u say...stress.......now go work...no money...no food to eat....always hungry...wat u say...stress....next...im moving away from TWL.....fuck...gonna be far away frm her....lagi STRESS!!!!!!!argh!!!im going crazy!!!!....and u quarrel with me over dat thing??dat small lil thing??i called u and u berbual nk tk nk....den u say im the one who is angry.....u say i keep blaming myself but u put the blame on me.....haiz....i dun wanna quarrel over such things....it is just dat i wanted to msg u a few seconds late...everytime i hold my phone n there u go...i just received a msg or just missed a call frm u...i know i didnt msg u straight when im home...just bcoz of dat minor thing u want to quarrel wif me...and when i wanted to peace off wif u u make me pissed off.......I dunno wat else to say...all i know...i dun want to fight wif u...and ill change 4 dat small matter ok???argh....


I just feel like shouting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WIF ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i think the ego is coming back....i have to control it.....hope u guys dun make me lose control.....
wif all things family,fren,life probs happening at the same time.....i really can explode....i really mean explode...EXPLODE!!!!!and one more thing........i am fking tired......actually my body is rotting....i just ignore the pain n tiredness im feeling...so..im mentally not tired...im physically not stress...but mentally i am........haiz............PAIN!!!!!!!!

Strumming away my misery...
Scaling through bitterness in life...

yey....not gonna miss the bass...buying it frm rosli....selling away guitar n efx only...hahaa...nvm...wont die...i think lar...hmmm....sad to hear bout my bro MR story...read his blog....am thinking wat i can do to help....he's the chief of RL...so..budak2 RL....sikit sebanyak tolong lar....am planning something that would at least ringan kan beban dia...but wat can i do....i cant do it alone...i need at least the whole of RL to help at least...tkkan happy samer2..biler susah kau hidup sendiri....lek eh maan...gua da bbl ngn rosli sroh baca blog kau...i hope i can work with him to come out with something..sabar bro..

To my dumb2...haha...cian dia..sakit ehk....alallaaa...sroh mkn ubat tk nk...degil nyer bdk...hmm...we talked bout going one step futher...but im sorry...i not that fully ready yet....i've told u...soon rite...haha..u'll see how soon it is...ill always be at the side of my loved ones...be together with them through happiness and the struggles...sori if im a bit out of my head dis days...im crazy..haha..but u knw i wont leave u alone....and i wont let ur past repeat itself rite...haha..ily baby...peace

Strumming away my misery...
Scaling through bitterness in life...